When Robin Williams ain't funny, he ain't much. And he surely is not funny in BICENTENNIAL MAN, where he plays a robot with heart who opts to acquire all the other bits necessary to become human.

The film is based on a story of Isaac Asimov, and in 1950 when it was written, it likely had far more novelty than this film. If Bicentennial Man has a message to audiences in 1999, it's a soppy humanistic one that isn't new. In fact, it's the same message as the playwrights of Ancient Greek presented. Living forever is dull. Far better to live for a short time, and do it well.

Robin Williams plays a household appliance, a robot meant to make life easy. His family name him Andrew. After accidentally breaking a toy of the younger daughter of the family, Andrew stays up all night making a replacement. Demonstrating that as a robot, he's something else; he has creativity and sensitivity. Soon he becomes part of the family, loved by younger daughter, treated with scorn and rejection by the older. Two reactions that will follow Andrew throughout the film.

Once Andrew's creative potential is unleashed, there is no stopping him. Soon he has amassed a plethora of artifacts, and an equally enormous bank account. Then he starts wearing clothes. It's not long before he wants skin, and all the other bits that make a man.

Andrew lives through four generations of his family. So the film becomes rather cluttered with people getting old and dying. The make-up people must have had a field day planning and implementing the aging process for most of the cast. Creative and labor intensive as it must have been, it becomes rather ho-hum from the audience perspective.

There's also a love element to the film. Andrew falls in love with Portia, the granddaughter of the original little girl of the family. Both roles are played by Embeth Davidtz and they're both infinitely forgettable. At first falling in love with a robot is exciting, after all, he's programmed not to be an idiot, and no doubt he's also very tidy. But soon, the lovers realize that living forever just isn't right. Life has become labored and unnatural, just as the film has become labored, so it's quite a relief for all parties when finally it ends.