But fear not, virile manhood in all its stereotypical glory will always exist while ever Bruce Willis is alive and in the movies. In his latest film, MERCURY RISING, a testosterone-fest if ever there was one, Willis plays a character so tough even John Wayne seems like a woos by comparison.

But that's no surprise, Willis always plays some kind of maverick, who, if left alone, could save the world whether it needs to be saved or not. In MERCURY RISING Willis is an FBI agent, desperately trying to do his job, but hampered by idiot superiors.

Following a well-worn and rather tired formula, the establishment says "No thanks" to Willis and his wild behavior, and assigns him to surveillance duty, which, of course, evolves into the mission that no one else wants: to find a missing kid.

Not any kid, mind you, but a very unusual one. Our lad is nine-years-old, autistic, and very gifted with puzzles. So gifted, in fact, that he manages to crack the most sophisticated cipher system known to man. Alec Baldwin is the grand pooh-bah of coding, and he's none to pleased to hear that a peon has ruined his grand scheme. He takes the only logical course of action, he decides to kill the kid, his parents, and anyone else whose face appears more than one time on the screen. Logical, huh?

But we know that all will be fine for the kid, because Willis is there to protect him. It's what we expect from Willis, after all, since his cinematic career is littered with roles that worship his ego. The striking thing about this movie, is that in the past Willis would save a woman, but these days, women have pretty much indicated that they can save themselves, (as in the new James Bond movie). So Brucie has to find someone dopier than himself to be hero to.

But, if the movie avoids the women as object needing rescue pothole, it falls hook line and sinker into the "woman as cheerleader" stereotype, as manifested by Kim Dickens. She's a nice person with a dull life, whose purpose in the film is twofold. She provides a cozy nest for the child to rest in, and she oohs and ahs at the Willis machismo show.

MERCURY RISING is really quite a dull film, since we've seen the plot a million times. The direction is seamless, which at least allows the audience a scopophilic escape from real problems that cannot be solved by shooting people who don't fit into our scheme.