RONIN begins in a dark street in Paris. Robert De Niro lurks outside a bar, while Jean Reno enters and orders a drink. The barmaid and other patrons look at each other suspiciously as they cautiously ponder their drinks. The only thing missing is Gary Cooper's entrance accompanied by a rendition of "Do Not Forsake Me O My Darling" on accordian. Yes, it's true, Ronin is a croissant western.
Soon the action begins. There's a shoot up, although who is shooting and why is never really apparent. Then we're into car chase #1 where the protagonists are chased by the police. And they're off and racing through the narrow streets of Paris. The wheels spin on the cobblestones and the zippy little European engines urgently whine their way past astounded pedestrians. Fruit carts and restaurant tables are upended and the excitement mounts, until suddenly one of the passengers in the lead car gets motion sickness so they pull over to allow him to puke. And the police, disappear.Then we get into something that resembles a story. The protagonists, a bunch of hired guns, or Ronins, are supposed to take a case away from a guy who doesn't want to lose it. More than once De Niro asks, "What's in the case?" but he never gets an answer, and nor do we. However, it quickly becomes apparent that what is actually in the case is the plot, which no-one seems to notice is missing.
There are, however, some plot ideas. Much is made of the Japanese term Ronin, which is a Samarai who lost his master and so becomes a dishonored hired sword. Then there is some politcal intrigue, and even a bit of a love story just to keep the women's vote intact. Oh yeah, and Katarina Witt skates at end.
But for the most part, the characters all run around in circles, culminating in yet another huge car chase, both is dopey as the first. This time, however, the pursuit takes place through a busy Parisian tunnel, where chaser and chased actually drive at ridiculous high speeds against the dense flow of traffic. After about 20 minutes of this totally ridiculous scene, which felt a lot like a game of frogger on crack, I was unable to control my mirth any longer.
Ronin is not a movie I would recommend, unless you need a fix of European car sounds and enjoy seeing pedestrians fly through the air for no apparent reason.